Drum. Enter Cheneyus, Scooterus, advisers, guards and army
Cheneyus: Stand ho!
Chief guard: Pass out the word. Now ho and stand!
Cheneyus: What now? Where’s Rummie? Is he close at hand?
Scooterus: He is indeed, and soon will be with us
Although he now seems less punctilious.
Cheneyus: How did he greet you? Let me be resolved
That constancy stays firm and undissolved.
Scooterus: With courtesy and with respect enough
But lacking in the former warmer stuff
As he hath used of old.
Cheneyus: Thou dost describe
A hot friend cooling. Ever note the vibe
When love begins to sicken and to shake
And causes flashes hot, night sweats, headache?
Alarums, excursions. Enter sponsor 2
Sponsor 2: No need to suffer for that women’s cause!
Use Prempro now to douse thy menopause!
Exit sponsor 2
Vox populi: For our fair land ‘tis not the poxing menopause
I fear, but worst and worstest with these sons of whores.
Will S.: My fine superlatives doubled hold they to mockery?
Writing C.: Nay, imitation’s mostest finest form of flattery.
Enter Rummeus and his powers
Cheneyus: He is arrived.
Rummeus: I must be, since I‘m here;
For that no need for future-seeing seer.
Most noble brother, you have done me wrong.
Cheneyus: My mouth is twisted, yet straight is my song.
How wrong thee did I?
Alarums, excursions, sennet. Enter Caesar
Caesar: Ha, ‘tis me, I’m back!
With truth misspoken, with your plots so black
You thought to oust me, to eliminate
Me, but you did misunderestimate
My cunning wiles.
Will S.: 'Sblood! What does he here
Thus swaggering and smirking? Fully clear
Is it that he is gone, that he is toast,
Ne'er more to foul this stage, but as a ghost
Returning in scene three, not here. Yet now,
Full-bodied, flesh and blood, he takes a bow?
Our cast's possessed, zounds. I can take no more
Will faints
Writing C.: Sweet Will, come to! I can the play restore.
My plan! Remember? Grammar-Meister, quick!
And you, Wordsmith, avaunt! Go do your trick.
Into the fray, move smart now, firmly push
From stage yond poxing effing Frankenbush.
Ruckus, screams, shouts. Exit Caesar, limping
Will S.: Ah me! I had the vapours!
Rummeus: Did you see
What I just saw?
Cheneyus: It could not now be he;
He’s toast.
Rummeus: Perchance we do hallucinate,
Illusions coming from something we ate.
Cheneyus: That’s it! That gave me quite a turn. The wine
Hath blame; that vintage was like turpentine.
Rummeus: It was just vapours. Of my grievance now
Let’s talk!
Cheneyus: Not here! Within my tent powwow!
Exeunt omnes, dirty dancing, but for Cheneyus and Rummeus
No comments:
Post a Comment